Social anxiety is fear associated with connecting with people. Since the pandemic scare of 2019-2021 and the media frenzy of fear ensued, we as a collective were programmed to fear people. If you had some social anxiety to begin with, your anxiety and fear was validated and you thought, I’ve got this! I can avoid people and situations and I am being told that having social anxiety is valid, even protective.
For those who had never experienced social anxiety, it became a new, dysfunctional normal. It is normal now to avoid social situations, crowds, and any contact with people who may or may not have been exposed to a virus that may or may not cause a heinous, death in isolation. Pretty scary.
Social anxiety turns into a phobia when a panic attack is triggered by the mere idea of going to a social function. Avoidance, and justification of avoidance leads to states of calm and safety. Eventually the fear of isolation, and death grows. Great suffering ensues for not being able to resolve this adaptive – maladaptive normal, abnormal pattern of behavior.
Loneliness is the pandemic of our day. Collective trauma shapes our current reality.
Most of my clients, particularly the ones working remotely report feelings of loneliness and isolation. We have all experienced social anxiety, and it is now a unifying, dysfunctional norm. Time with friends and family is exhausting, creates energy sensitivity, irrational fears of contamination, paranoia, and adaptations of life behind walls has become the norm for many average Americans who fear getting sick and dying.
Many connections have been lost. Friends, families and communities were lost forever.
Our collective recovery will last for generations to come if we as a collective do not come together to reprogram our dysfunctional fear of each other. The fear of people due to COVID seems to have reshaped into a continuing and even more toxic fear of people who have beliefs or behaviors that are different. Democrat or Republican? Identity politics has reinforced the fear-avoidance cycle that the pandemic brought to it’s traumatic peak. Now, we need to avoid people who look or act a certain way for fear that they may infect us with their beliefs or reject us.
How does it feel to belong? Have you forgotten? Rejection sensitivity dysphoria is real.
Even therapists who encourage Social Emotional Learning and helping children and families to integrate back into society through schools are under attack. This is also work that I am passionate about and starting at Goodwater Public Montessori in Georgetown, TX. Making friends, managing anxiety, fear and loss is essential to life now.
The pandemic and ensuing stress of violence, war, and divisive politics has created a society of disconnection, trauma, and fear with so much grief to process that it can be overwhelming. Many of us are operating in denial of this reality. We have to address this head on as a collective.
In my clinical work, I am diving deep into polyvagal theory, internal family systems and EMDR to support my clients where they are and where they want to go. If you are choosing to do this work, you are a warrior. You want to new world and a good life despite the elements of our society that beckon our suffering.
I am excited to announce that I am starting groups this fall to address social anxiety and trauma healing. If you wish to be a part of a conscious transformation please reach out. The opposite of fear and hate is love and compassion. Call me to learn about joining a compassionate group of whole hearted humans learning to transmute pain and suffering into joy through connection and peace. If this calls to you I am offering a sliding scale, so please don’t let finances get in the way of your work and your path. I trust the process and I know that abundance is there for us all.