Stigma is defined in the Merriam Webster dictionary as “a mark of shame or discredit.” The APS Dictionary defines Stigma as “the negative social attitude attached to a characteristic of an individual that may be regarded as a mental, physical, or social deficiency. A stigma implies social disapproval and can lead unfairly to discrimination against and exclusion of the individual.” It has been my life’s work to reduce the sting of stigma related to seeking mental health treatment. As a Texas native I am keenly aware of the problem of stigma, and the shame and fear that stigma can produce in the individual, family and societal systems.
Stigma is a false narrative rooted in misinformation and misunderstanding. The reality is that no one escapes this lifetime without experiencing something that is traumatic and heart rendering. In Texas the trend is to keep it in the family or flat deny when something goes wrong. I believe in early intervention. If you see signs of anxiety, depression, or have a traumatic experience, call for help to clear a path for a peaceful future. Anxiety, depression, and trauma are a part of life in the 21st Century in Texas. There are many avenues to get the help through counseling and psychotherapy and mind-body therapies.
Personally, I didn’t seek my own support until I was 19 years old after I had suffered in silence for more than 5 years with a trauma that transformed my life forever. Despite clear warning signs, I flew under the radar for all of those years. I was a high-functioning perfectionist, and I processed my pain internally thinking that there must be something wrong with me. That erroneous belief made me work harder which allowed me to reap external praise. I sought out my first therapist in my 19th year of life, and started my healing journey. I learned that I need to know when to ask for help, and when to break the silence.
When we become conscious of our stories and when we can tell them in a safe place, we open to the possibility of healing and empowerment. Through mindfulness and self-compassion we grow and learn beyond the limitations that shame may have place on us long ago. Wouldn’t it be amazing if society were to shift more toward compassion and striving to understand how to heal instead of shame, blame and send away those who are experiencing a period of hardship or need?
In my practice I enjoy working with parents who have the awareness that their unfinished business with trauma, family conflict, and mental health challenges become the legacy that is passed to their children. I am aligned with Dr. Shefali’s work on conscious parenting, and I also love Brene’ Brown’s work on vulnerability.
I am grateful to have touched so many lives as an individual, couples, family and group counselor. I am presently focused on prevention and early detection in my work with parents who are on the front lines of the mental health crisis happening in our communities all across Texas. If you or someone you know is struggling, meet them with compassion and a sincere desire to understand. Encourage them to seek the care and support they need to find healing and empowerment. May you find compassion, understanding, and support where ever you may go and reach out when you know it is time.